(Day 30) Present Day
She adjusted her computer’s brightness. She doesn’t want her eyes to be squinting, she opened her e-mail and saw that there are thirty-three messages left unread. It’s her first day to be in front of her computer again, because she’s avoiding everything unpleasant that her eyes may caught in her computer, and by everything she means everything, even her mails, but she has to write something. She needs to write.
Sometime on a Wednesday, she met a suit-wearing and martini-drinking guy named Phil, a businessman from Seada Communications. She was reading her book while waiting for her meal and the guy was at the bar having a drink. Phil saw her walked towards the powder room, and he was stunned by her beauty. Phil is a gorgeous man, muscle-toned but not too much and has a shaggy hair but not too messy, and they’re properly introduced to each other. She didn’t had the hard time to see how handsome Phil was that time, he was so neat and proper, and they sat by the bar, and talked. And so what if you’re thinking what could happen next, happened.
“Alright, alright, I’ll be down in a minute, why hastening?” she said as she put on her stilettos.
“Just get your ass down here alright.” And got his phone shut He was waiting for her to come down from her apartment. He asked her to be with him at a party that deals with his work, and it will be held at a posh hotel in Soho. She was wearing her sleekest and elegant black dress and red stilettos, she got her hair down, and wore a perfume. She grabbed her keys when Phil hung up, and went out, in the elevator, she took a last look in her compact mirror she fished out from her clutch. She’s never been like that in years, but that moment, she’s swooning, loving how Phil treats her, how he flatters her every time, and she is inevitably ecstatic. The elevator rang on the ground floor, and she went out and saw Lisa at the front desk smiling at her, for she looked undoubtedly stunning, and then Robert the doorman opened the door for her, who was also smiling, she just nod in appreciation and head out.
And there was Phil, standing on the curb, next to his Jaguar, holding a huge bouquet of red roses, breathe taken away, his eyes told her why, and kissed her. She smiled, because her amazing night just started.
She hasn’t heard of him three days after the party, she tried to call again but again into the voice mail, she started to feel disappointed. She went out of apartment and head to the restaurant, where they met, that was her favorite place, but now, because she has to share it with something and someone else. And she doesn’t like the feeling of it.
It was already half-passed eight and she didn’t see Phil, so she got up and out of the restaurant, she wanted to take a walk home to clear her mind of Phil. The first time she met Phil, she was so unsure, and didn’t take Phil seriously, until the exchanging of messages and calls continuously happened, he keeps sending her sweet messages, e-mails, sending her flowers, and gifts. And then one night after having a dinner with Phil, Phil took her to his place, and there she felt that they’re going to be stepping four levels up with their unclear status. Lying on Phil’s bed, she felt the heat on their skin and her heart was beating rhythmically and melodiously fast, pang of tingles crawling at the back of her neck as Phil’s lips wander through her body and then she inhaled so deep, and exhaled. She’s in love.
She stopped and looked at the Café right across the street, she thought the place is good, there were happy people talking and laughing, she saw a blonde girl laughing while holding her cup of coffee, the girl was gorgeous, she looked like one of the Victoria’s Secret model which she never watched because they’re perfect, and there she just saw a prototype, laughing with a smart-looking and handsome guy right in front of her and stroking her arms.
She was aghast and she couldn’t breathe, that was supposed to be her, she thought, her eyes are feeling hot and her throat was tightening, she’s supposed to be at that cafe, that is supposed to be her in front of Phil, laughing at his punchlines, and stare at his perfect mouth as he speaks. But there she was across the street, staring at the picture where she’s supposed to be in, the picture she once saw in her mind. And now still remains in her head.
She walked away from that moment, from her own nightmare, away from the picture she painted in her mind. The sun is still shining, gushing in through her window and shows how beautiful and better her life is right now. She maybe, made a terrible mistake but she has learned and is now forgetting everything, learning to forget perhaps. That’s why she wrote this. So she could burn this down and bury on the ground.
And never see it again.
*Everything written here is a work of fiction.