It’s really nice to have some peaceful time for yourself. I am a person who always wants a ‘ME’ time and right now I am having my tea on my bed and typing my thoughts away.
My thoughts and my feelings are a bit in a maelstrom right now. And that’s because of my best friend. For a very long time,we haven’t talked for ages but yesterday, we chatted and it was so nice but it didn’t last long and we just talked seemingly about ridiculous things. We didn’t catch up on each other. Which is what I crave for so long, I crave talking and laughing with him, those days we spent together. I missed my dear best friend.
He met so many other girls and some are not just girls, they are high-profiled. And I got utterly jealous, some called him best friend, and I got even more jealous, but what I just keep in mind to whip that jealousy away from my system, is that I am his best friend since grade school, and it’s me who’s been with him during his heartaches in high school, we walk home from school together. Sometimes with his arms around my shoulder, fooling around with others, and you know other good old stuff in high school, and nope with didn’t do drugs, getting stoned or whatever. I was with hi, all through those times, and thinking just that made me realize that I shouldn’t get jealous. People meet new people, people get to new places, meet again new people. Normal but a bit horrid though. Now that makes me so stultifying, because I kind of sound like I got separation anxiety disorder. . . . But no, I’m jealous, that he talks to others now, and not to his best friend, and when I try to talk to him and ask him some things, sometimes he doesn’t respond, like he’s shut me off. Most of the time.
I am starting to feel that I am being shut off of his life too.
I hate to think that my best friend has changed, but people change too right? And that’s something I need to accept and get myself over with, though I really hate changes. There’s nothing I could do.
I want that best friend I’ve known for so long.