A lot can happen in a snap, what more in a week, a month, or even a year. For the last couple of months since the year started, waves of changes occurred in my life, in our lives probably. There were the good ones, and bad. But I must say, I don’t regret any of these things that happened to me.
The little boy I bore for nine months, has turned two last month and it gave me such blithe seeing him grow healthy, happy, well-loved and cherished by all. He has grown to be so loving especially with me, and I regret for not being with him now 24/7 as I needed to go to work, since my family moved to a new city far from to where we have originally lived since existence. Adapting to changes is not one of my forte, but I’m doing my best to cope up and keep up with my life. My siblings and my bambino has to move there because of my father’s health condition, and to be able to recuperate thoroughly, they have to move at my mom’s house. I decided to stay for some reasons, even if it means that I’ll only be seeing him during weekends, even if it means that I’ll be suffering for nights of not being able to hug him while he sleeps, even if it means that I’ll be missing out on a lot of things in his life, and lastly, even if it means that in the eye of the others, I’m a bad mother for not being with him.
So that clouded my mind, and that very thought clung in my heart so heavily. What does it take to be a good mother? I’m twenty-four and I got a two-year old little rascal that I have to take care of, basically, that’s what I needed to do, but here I am pouring out what I lack to do. Though when he’s with me, oh dear, I can’t let him out of my sight, his cheeks are filled with kisses and I can’t let him go from my tight hugs which makes him a little bit aggravated for a moment and then he would hug and kiss me again. Ahhh! Such great feeling. So back to the question, how can you tell that a mother is a bad mother? And how can you tell a good one?
I must admit, I lack some things when it comes to taking care of my little boy, I am domestically unavailable but deep down, I love my little one, my treasure and I would do anything for him. I have plans for us, for myself and to be able to attain those plans there are things that must be compromised. That is inevitable, in every aspects of life. You will have to compromise some things to cross out the things on your list one by one and that’s what I’m doing. They may hate me for doing this because as a mom, this is not what is expected of me, but I’m doing my responsibility in a way I think is right for us.
I saw this quote and it brought light in me, hope and confidence, for me to continue what I think is right.
It’s hard to be ‘a best mother’ but there are millions ways to be a good one.
This suddenly boosted me when I felt sorry for myself, because I thought I’m failing that one job I am entitled with. But no, I know myself and I know from the very core, I am a good mother, and I love my child, and I would certainly do anything and give everything for him. We all get criticized and demeaned for what we do, but I learned and I’m trying to teach myself that what they say don’t really matter, it is your life after all.
From mastering the art of diaper-changing, enduring those sleepless nights, and the months of prickling pain from breastfeeding I am now onto the next stage of motherhood, and I’ll master it, my way. Salute to dear mothers out there!